Because I'm trying everyday. I'll get through this lunacy, and smile the last. I just ask for a little common sense, is it really that to hard to spare?

On a happier note, LTC. My fourth and last one. Which was really good, albeit tiring, sweaty and muscle-straining. The warmth, fun, encouragement and pumped up spirits.

Choir practices in school, band practices out. My calendar's full and I haven't done anything to get ready for my mid terms. Such a dedicated student, I know, not.

So I get to take my dslr out again and go on a foodfest throughout the day with amazing people. Can't wait!!

Ballet exam was long done with. I got tangled in my scarf, my legs bent when they weren't supposed to, I forgot to wear my skirt for a dance. But its over! Ah, the relief.

It's 10pm and I'm drained. I've been sleeping a lot day and night and it certainly doesn't feel all that sexy.

......I don't know where that came from..

I'm out. Bedtime, because I'm doing nothing productive.

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"Doubt thou the stars are fire;

Doubt that the Sun doth move;

Doubt truth to be a liar;

But never doubt I love."

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Playing the piano and we all sing.

Hanging around kids and watching that glimmer in their eye that makes something in your heart twitch and melt :)

Singing, singing and singing.

The unnerving, pointless talking. It never ends, it never stops.

Escape to the courts. We see the clouds move over and the heavy downpour comes before we get to run.

Drenched in the bleachers, waiting for it to end.

Warm silences.

Spicy dinner to silent the growl from our bellies that sounded like the lightning earlier.

A long shower.

Sighing over the last-minute homework thinking, the weekend's over already?

The never ending wondering. Why did I say that? I didn't think.

Here we are, counting down to the next breakless break.

Hello, face spritzer.

That was mildly heartbreaking.

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All this falsity is growing louder.

And it painfully throbs in the ears.

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"Down the road the sun is shining and every cloud has a silver lining.

Just keep holding on."

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January

School. Back in my loving and fun class. Mistakes in front of the whole school. Being watched by teachers. Constant nagging in my brain that I have to finish all my homework and that the word 'forgot' must never be used. Teachers having smirks plastered on their face saying 'oh you should know that I give a lot of homework'. #o.o but then again, the fun never stops.

Drama. A never ending chronicle. Why all this hypocrisy? Shame on you for making others feel rejected. And all the endless talking and spinning of stories. When was it ever that fun? Life.

The little storm. The people who make 'friends' a bad name. I've said enough.

Installation day. Thank you all prefects for being so cooperative and fun. You guys were awesome!

China. Real organic vegetables and peanuts! Endlessly binging awayyy. and non-stop eating. There were at least 10 dishes per meal ngomngom. Large reunions. And the hospitality. A week away from homework and stress and nasty things despite the dehydration. Four layers of clothes and pink cheeks :D Incredible fun and large fireworks from every rooftop. (: then I had to go home..

Fell back to earth. Homework marathon before going back to school the next day. The moment when I found out there was another essay to finish right before I went to bed at 11pm.

x_x

Little happy things. I thank God for my family. Nothing's boring with them. They tolerate my whining and whining and..whining and distressing acts.

God. Who is forever there. He keeps me awake in classes better than my face spritzer :)

It's Saturday. I love how the word makes me sigh with content.

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RAWRRRR

Surviving third week of school! I know I haven't been updating my gorgeous pink blog, but my lousy time management has been really lousy.

So there's this throbbing headache and unfinished bags to pack and hope for a few miracles.

So much for an update. Will be back soon!

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“Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.”
William Shakespeare

“Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different....”
Prince Caspian, C. S. Lewis

"But hatred is a curved blade. The harm we do, we do to ourselves."

The Five People You Meet In Heaven, Mitch Albom.

Creeps in this petty pace.

I'm counting the days for this week to be over. Yeah, school's been great- school syllabus completed, teachers not teaching, back-to-back periods of talking about everything, reading without having the fear that you'll be caught for doing something deemed 'illegal'. But staying home beats going to school flat anytime, what not now.

There's this bursting urge for me to stay home and snuggle beneath the comforters for an extra hour, waking up to breakfast without having to rush to school. I will be able to afford to make a nice cup of green tea (<3) and read. If only. Instead, I wake up at 6, try to tame my newly cut hair into a 'neat' ponytail I always fail to have (wink) and stuff breakfast into a sandwich bag for me to chomp in the car. I'm proud thinking of how I managed to get through almost 10 years of my life doing the same thing, though I used to be so much more organized before I became this procrastinator with lousy time management in the later and more recent part of secondary school. 2 more minutes, 2 more minutes. Snooze.

But at 6am, all these little thoughts I take pride in for motivation to keep going with the everyday ritual is washed away. 'SHUN THE ALARM CLOCK. SHUN IT'. And I pity my phone for having to go through the constant jabbing for me to silent the alarm.

3 more days to go, a short break, and then it's one year left. Hello? Wasn't I in form 1 just yesterday when I got bird poo over my shoulder? It's all overwhelming.

Embracing authority. It looks and sounds good on the surface, like a glossy page. But glossy pages can give nasty paper cuts. Constant good behavior, a ton of responsibility & work, the squeezing of brains, the need to communicate efficiently. I'm not complaining. The adrenaline of checking things off the everyday to-do list faithfully over the past year feels awesome. But like I said. Overwhelming. So now, the list just doubled. I've to finish all of my homework, make sure they're done neatly, stay awake big-eyed in class and make sure I don't mess up assemblies (which I already have, once).

The thought of me finishing all of my homework neatly and being a 100% good girl doesn't look exactly promising and really makes me laugh hard. Big time procrastinator is now sitting here typing aimlessly right before bedtime.

Next year will be fun. Next year will be fun.

I wanted to continue finding reasons to skipping school for the next few days, but I'm no genius and I'm just downright lazy. So yeah. I'll be going to school tomorrow and the day after, and the day next. 3 more days! Then there'll be VBS!, my uncle's wedding!, youth camp committee meetings!, youth camp!!, Christmas! :) .. Then school, till we meet again.

I forgot what this post was supposed to be. So the ranting ends here for today and if you read the whole of this post, my salutes & kind wishes to you.

To happy beginnings of another day!

It's raining!

Ah, the joys of being in my room randomly typing keys on my laptop with the AC blaring while listening to the raindrops hitting the roof. The irony of it all, now that I just got back from Cameron Highlands a couple of hours ago.

Spent a great one and a half days in Chefoo stuffing myself with scones, brownies and food while lazing around. 'Babysitting', for lack of a better word. Soaking in the sight of the rain and the smell of nature. And ice popsicles! ...that I couldn't have because I was too stuffed already. But anyway, that was definitely what I needed: Allowing my laziness to take over all sanity! RAWWRRRR.

-cricket, cricket-

Now the kitchen's stocked up with shortbread and brownies and strawberry jam! I can really get used to this. Someone should come up with zero-calorie desserts. I would be your faithful customer.

....dreams. It's nice to dream once in a while, no?

So I've been busying myself with watching this live show of 2PM after watching Dream High which starred Taecyeon. I kid you not. These people really crack me up. Surprise, surprise. I'm finally watching things like that. But let me explain myself: There was no blonde hair, no skinny jeans, no thick eyeliner, which was what drew my attention back to Korean dramas.

I just killed a bug. THE HORROR.

To what's clinging.

Instant irritation relief, for now--

Flailing arms in the air. Jumping in circles. Shuffling in the corner of the room. Screaming so unbearably loud. CSI marathon. Marks & Spencer tortillas and potato chips. Cupcakes. Scratching the painful itchy mosquito bites.


____


I wanna throw darts at that game you're playing. Shoot them with my air gun. Cause exams are over and I am cool. Rawr.
No, seriously. I throw ping pong balls at you.
Look at those bright orange spheresssssss.

___

Instant irritation relief (updated)---


Flailing arms in the air. Jumping in circles. Shuffling in the corner of the room. Screaming so unbearably loud. CSI marathon. Marks & Spencer tortillas and potato chips. Cupcakes. Scratching the painful itchy mosquito bites. Blogging like a senseless dimwit.


Scrambled than ever.
I'm busy and I like it. I'm expecting the worst. Because that's what's always hurled right at you, anyway. Melancholic moments that my tiny brain thought only came out in movies to absorb people into whatever the scene.
And behind those walls and acts, what's real anymore?


Lies.

___


"We're like glowing sticks. In order to shine we must be broken."
As painful as its truth.

__

CSI marathon resumes.